No kid in the world, no woman in the world should ever raise a hand against a no-good daddy. That's already been taken care of: A Man Who Destroys His Own Home Shall Inherit the Wind. - Dick Gregory
Last time I was down South I walked into this restaurant, and this white waitress came up to me and said: 'We don't serve colored people here.' "I said: 'that's all right, I don't eat colored people. Bring me a whole fried chicken. - Dick Gregory
I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark. - Dick Gregory
Nature is not affected by finance. If someone offered you ten thousand dollars to let them touch your eyeball without blinking, you would never collect the money. At the very last moment, Nature would force you to blink your eye. Nature will protect her own. - Dick Gregory
Riches do not delight us so much with their possession, as torment us with their loss. - Dick Gregory
Hell hath no fury like a liberal scorned. - Dick Gregory